Jon Lajoie (vidéos en anglais)

Everyday normal guy



I am just a regular everyday normal guy..
Nothing special about me Mother Fucka
I am just a regular everyday normal guy..
When I go to the clubs I wait in line Mother Fucka
I am just a regular everyday normal guy..
I got 600 dollars In the bank Mother Fucka
I am just a regular everyday normal guy..
And my sexual performance is an average

I work at customer service for a phone company
I make 12 bucks an hour but that’s all I need
I live in a small apartment on a quite street
I don’t go out too much I like to watch TV
I cant afford a car I use public transportation
I don’t mind I read till I reach my destination
sometimes a newspaper, sometimes a book
the amount of money I save this shit is off the hook

And i am not very good with the women
I’m a pretty shy person and I’m average looking
last time I had sex was in 2003
and I am ashamed to admit but it wasn’t free

I am just a regular everyday normal guy..
I get nervous in social situations Mother Fucka
I am just a regular everyday normal guy..
I get constipated once a month Mother Fucka
I am just a regular everyday normal guy..
And i make pretty good spaghetti sauce Mother Fucka
I am just a regular everyday normal guy..
and I get scared when I go see the dentist

I’m the “Pauly Shore” of everyday life
easily forgettable and I am not very liked
I have an “According to Jim” personality
I’m as entertaining as a fucking STD

if you wanna mess with me I think you probably can
because I am not confident and i am weak for a man
I’ll just roll up in a ball while you kick me in the back, yeah
honestly I probably wont fight back
And I don’t have many friends that would back me up
My friend Steve would but he doesn’t look very tough

Steve: “You want some of this bitch?”

If you rarely get laid put your hands up
If you’re not well paid put your hands up
If you got a pet cat put your hands up
and if you got a bad back put your hands up

Jon: “I hurt my back 2 summers ago moving a fridge and ever since then it just not the same …you know it… it gets…It gets pretty sore”

I am just a regular everyday normal guy..
My parents are really nice people Mother Fucka
I am just a regular everyday normal guy..
I am somewhat afraid of heights Mother Fucka
I am just a regular everyday normal guy..
I like the show greys anatomy Mother Fucka
I am just a regular everyday normal guy..
and I am pretty good at making paper planes

Steve: ” I could do this all day…I could do this all day…I could do this all day…”

Everyday Normal Guy 2



Steve: You want some more of this bitch? Back in the heezy. We can do this all year long.

I’m just a regular everyday normal muthafucka…
I told you in the first song, I’ll tell you in another.
I’m just a regular everyday normal motherfucker…
I don’t have a girlfriend my hand’s my only lover.
I’m just a regular everyday normal muthafucka…
One night a week my mom likes to cook me supper.
I’m just a regular everyday normal motherfucker…
And Michael Keaton was my favorite Batman.

I was walking down the street just the other day
I saw these two fine bitches
they were walkin’ my way
“Yo whatchu girls doin tonight?”
is what I wanted to say
but suddenly I panicked
my voice started to shake.
so I put my head down
and I just walked away
I had a bus to catch anyway,
it worked out great.
Got on the bus put my headphones on and pressed play
Sheryl Crow, James Blunt, and motherfuckin Ace of Base.
Yo, what can I say,
it’s just a day in my life
I’m up early in the morning
in bed early at night.
To be productive at work
I gotta be well rested.
Yeah muthafucka,
you heard what I just said.

I’m just a regular everyday normal muthafucka…
I don’t like margarine I much prefer the taste of butter.
I’m just a regular everyday normal motherfucker…
My favorite movies as a kid were Superman and Ghostbusters.
I’m just a regular everyday normal muthafucka…
I have a hard time opening my eyes under water.
I’m just a regular everyday normal motherfucker…
and I’m not a huge Nicholas Cage fan.

I’m from a
lower-middle class family,
me and my brothers and sisters
played hide and seek,
I have good memories
from my childhood bitch,
my favorite toy
was my fuckin fire truck bitch,
I used to play with that motherfucker all day long,
until I learned about sex from the Sears catalog
and then I played with my muthafucka all day long
about 10 times a day man, all year long.
My favorite song motherfucker
I don’t like to admit it
is a Celine Dion song
from the movie Titanic.
“Every night in my dreams,
I see you…I feel you…”
Every time I hear that fuckin shit
a tear comes to my eye.
Why the fuck did Leonardo Di Caprio have to die?
Though I’m not afraid to say
that I’m a sensitive guy,
sticks and stones break my bones
but it’s the words that make me cry.
Like that time in Grade 3
when a girl called me stupid face,
she really hurt me,
why’d she call me stupid face?
Is my face stupid?
How’s that even possible?
A person can be stupid
but a face? That’s impossible.
Shit happens all the time
and you learn how to deal with it,
Regular, everday, normal fuckin’ bullshit.

I’m just a regular everyday normal muthafucka…
When I get into a fight I usually leave on a stretcher.
I’m just a regular everyday normal motherfucker…
When I got nothin’ to say I usually talk about the weather.
I’m just a regular everyday normal muthafucka…
I like the 1st Back to the Future but the 2nd one was better.
I’m just a regular everyday normal motherfucker…
I like red peppers better than the green ones.
Ooooohoooooo…savin up my money
to go buy a new dishwasher.
Mine broke about 6 months ago.
Mother fucker.
Go Go Go Go
Go shorty, it’s your birthday,
Go party like it’s your birthday.
I wasn’t invited, but it’s okay.
I’ll just stay at home and play some video games.

Steve: You want some of this? Come and get it.